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What to do when you’re not happy? My 6 guaranteed ways to find yourself again

What to do when you’re not happy? My 6 guaranteed ways to find yourself again

What to do when you’re not happy? These days, months, more than ever, you can feel bad, sad and without mood or motivation. For me personally, it doesn’t make sense to get upset or lament about the current situation. So I don’t even do it. That’s why I decided to Dear Fabulous woman that I’d rather give you a few of my guaranteed ways to find yourself and be Fabulous again.

A few weeks ago, I asked myself what to do when I don’t feel happy and tried to find an answer. I wrote that every woman is Fabulous, she just has to discover it in herself. I was writing to you about how I’ve been ignoring the feeling of sadness, frustration, and not feeling fabulous for weeks. I won’t tell you this all over again. You can find it here.

The important thing is that what I took so long to realize, I finally realized. But that is only half the battle. Now I’m working to make Fabulous feel again. So really, with myself. I search why I felt the way I felt, looking for sources of my sadness and my frustration, and looking for solutions.

What to do when you’re not happy?

I wrote an article on how to get rid of a bad mood and get infected with the good. It’s here. Maybe this is the article you need to read and feel better. But if you feel that you are not in a bad mood but that you are infinitely sad and you feel that your Fabulous is lost somewhere and you don’t know where that your soul is suffering, that article will not help you. Or it will only help you for a while.

This is an article you need to read. Although I’m no an expert and I’m just writing to you about what I discovered and tried on myself, and what helps me. So I’ll summarize it all for you here in a few points, nicely and clearly.

What to do when you’re not happy?

Communicate!

In the beginning, I would like to say that pain in the soul is not pleasant. It is a different pain than all other pain. It’s something that each of us will experience at some point. It is no shame to admit it and possibly seek professional help. There is no shame in talking about it. We are just people and everyone deals with problems differently. Especially now, in this particular Covid situation.

It completely helped me when I started talking about what I feel. I spoke to my best friend. It was a very simple and honest style conversation about everything that bothered me.

At first, I felt very stupid when I complained. I kept thinking in my head that the world is much worse off than I am. So I don’t want to complain. Well, my friend told me one wise sentence. “Every problem that bothers you is important. For you. Because you are the most important person for yourself.”

She was right.

As soon as I got it all out, I was relieved. A boulder fell from my heart.

Just because you can’t see someone doesn’t mean you can’t communicate with each other. Do not forget it.

What to do when you’re not happy?

You write, write and write. Get it all out of you.

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There are things that I think about and that bothers me even though I can’t influence them at the moment. I wrote it all down. I wrote down how I feel and what I think is my problem. I also wrote down what I want to change and what I want to work on when the world returns to normal anyway.

Yes, you read that right. Writing is back. This time I focused more on feelings and emotions. I started keeping a daily notebook on how I was doing. Every day. It sounds funny, but it helps me see when I’m in the mood and what affects it. It helps me clear my thoughts every day.

I think it’s important.

Especially when we are isolated at home all days, and we feel that the surrounding world is escaping us. Because when everything returns to normal, I think it will be very important to remember how you felt and what you experienced. I think it will help me to appreciate more and be aware of important things. It’s like you’ve opened up to yourself. As if you had taken your relationship with yourself to a higher level.

What to do when you’re not happy?

Move. It doesn’t matter what movement you make while you make one.

I can tell you that I fought with this point. And actually, I’m still fighting with it. I decided to add exercise to my daily program in addition to the walk. So I have to tell you, I wasn’t very excited about it until my sister sent me a super sportswear.

Yes exactly. I was motivated to wear clothes. And then I discovered some great videos on Youtube. Exercise is an incredible drug that causes me great states of joy. And I need that more now than ever. Closely related to these points is something I would never admit to doing myself. And that cooking. I found that I really enjoy performing during cooking. I mean, only if I’m cooking something I want, but that’s probably normal.

what to do when you´re not happy
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What to do when you’re not happy?

Cut away from negativity and toxicity.

I should explain this point a little more. Simply put, if you don’t have to, don’t let anything negative or anyone negative into your life.

I know it’s sometimes easier to said than done, but this point is very important. Think about if you really need to read the news from the world every day, whether you need to flood your mind with the numbers of people’s deaths on covid or as unemployment rises. Also think about whether you have someone around you who, even if you try to be positive and in the right mood, makes you not feel that way.

Right now, in this “isolation”, I thought I would use it to my advantage. I decided to clean up my relationships. I don’t watch TV and newspapers. Everything that is absolutely important will always be told to me by my boyfriend and I have decided not to deal with others. Some may call it ignorance, but I consider it necessary if I want to maintain my mental health and finally be Fabulous again.

I did the same with people. Even though this part was harder for me. Sometimes we don’t even realize how many negative people we keep close to us. But now I have the opportunity to select it all and be in contact only with the people I care about. Now I can see which people I want to write to, which people I am in contact with and whom I have forgotten about. It sounds awful, but I think it needed to be reduced a bit.

Just as we take care of our appearance through sports and a healthy diet, it is important to take care of our inside as well. Breaking away from toxicity is important, sometimes more than you could have thought.

What to do when you’re not happy?

Solitude

What to do when you're not happy,
Alum Chine, Bournemouth

It sounds weird, but it also helped me a lot. Even though we live in a small apartment, my boyfriend and I are quite good at separating activities and having time alone. This is often forgotten, especially if you are in a relationship. But it is as important as time with a partner.

I indulged in a few days just for myself. Even though my boyfriend and I shared a morning coffee with a Slovak lesson and in the evening we met at a movie or a board game. But I spent the day alone in my work environment. I wrote, meditated, practised, read, went on long walks alone with my favourite music, and did everything I didn’t have time for due to unnecessary stress. Sometimes just those simple things can turn our lives around and we feel better, happier.

What to do when you’re not happy?

Educate yourself

As the last point, I gave education, but I definitely don’t think it’s the last place. On the contrary. These days, when we are all forced to be at home, it is good to pay attention to something. The Internet is full of sites that offer various online courses, either for a fee or for free. There are no limits to the possibilities. When I was looking for something to fill my time with, I found a lot.

I am attaching a link here, to my favourite page with online courses, where you have the opportunity to try individual courses for free first, and if you are satisfied, you can update them for a fee.

If you are not a fan of online courses, there are still other options. For example, my boyfriend started learning Slovakian from a book I bought him for fun last Christmas. At that time, I would not have thought at all that we would use it and not at all that we would order its continuation.

I personally went back to reading books, which gives me an incredible amount of positive energy. I had no idea how much I missed it.

As you can see, there is no clear, specific answer to the question of what to do when you’re not happy. Something different works for everyone, everyone likes something different and even what worked for you yesterday may not work today. That’s why it’s important to find something for yourself.

But I hope this article helped you at least a little. Or at least it inspires you a little.

If you want to share your advice about “What to do when you’re not happy?” drop a comment down. 🙂

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