Do you know who are toxic people and how to recognize them?
I originally wanted to dedicate this article to Bournemouth. Write something about my first impressions, the beach, or a few of my special places. But I changed my mind and decided to turn my attention to the so-called toxic people.
I worked intensively all weekend and surrounded myself with a lot of people. The paradox is that many of them took more energy from me than the work itself. Do you know the feeling? I often compare this kind of people to Harry Potter dementors. They take your energy and you feel like a juicy orange.
Do you know anyone who makes you feel this way? If you answered yes, congratulations, you have at least one toxic person in your area.
Even I am not sure if I should congratulation you. But sometimes it is very hard to do this first step and realized that people who you think they are good are toxic people. You don’t want to admit that maybe one member of your family, friend or good colleague is one of them.
It took me a long time to realize that I have toxic people in my life.
Many times happened to me that I was losing energy or was more stressed than I would have with certain people. This was the first warning light that told me something was wrong. But it was always a different situation, so I didn’t attach any importance to it. I always said to myself that I have to be positive and think positive and everything will turn out well.
But over time, I realize more and more that, unfortunately, positive thinking alone is not enough.
Often you come into contact with people who, as I have already written, are toxic and therefore negative. The reasons why people are toxic are less important. But the consequences can be in the form of anger, resistance, frustration, or manipulation on the part of the toxicist. In the worst case, it can be a combination of all of this.
That’s why I decided that in today’s article I will summarize a few characteristic features of toxic people as prevention so that you avoid them or if you happen to have someone like that in your life to sharpen your attention.
I often liken toxic people to dementors, which most of us know from Harry Potter.
But who doesn’t, dementor is a being who draws energy from a human. And that’s exactly how I perceive toxic people. They pretend to want to help you and that they want to be your friends but in the end, they are the ones that get you squeezed out like orange and you end up without energy. I come into contact with these toxic people most often.
Another “amazing” group of toxic people are manipulators or people who have no control over their own lives and so they try to control your life.
This group is quite similar to liars because they use everything and everyone to achieve their goals. Manipulators suck the time and energy hidden from you behind the mask of friendship. Ultimately, however, they just want something from you, and when you look back, you will find that they have always taken, taken, and taken from you. Even though they pretended to do it for you.
This group often uses gossip and adjusts it exactly as it needs.
Toxic people love to be in the position of victims. They are looking for ways to feel oppressed, ridiculed, or on the fringes of society. For example, they are constantly apologizing, gossiping, or blaming, evoking a bad feeling in you. And that’s exactly what they want. This type of toxic people is very dangerous because they can make you feel remorse or sorry. You will start blaming yourself and pitying them, helping them and they will just spread their toxicity further.
I would say that the most common group of toxic people are envious people.
I generally consider envy to be one of the worst qualities a person can have because of it one can never be completely happy. Because let’s face it, there is always someone happier when you search thoroughly enough, so you better avoid people who build their own happiness on comparisons with the world, especially if you don’t want to get infected with addiction
So you already know how to identify toxic people, but the question remains how to get rid of such people. I would say that there is no clear answer to this, but it is important to realize that it is a long-term process.
Some toxic people often don’t realize that they are toxic, in which case confronting them would help in the beginning. A pleasant conversation over coffee could open such a person’s eyes, and she might be aware of her behavior and try to change it.
I myself was in a position where I was becoming toxic to my surroundings and I didn’t realize it until someone told me. And I was also in a position where I had to confront a toxic person.
In this case, there is a chance to save not only the toxic person but also your relationship with her.
But if this is a worse case, you should consider creating a distance. I know from personal experience that complete elimination is not easy and always possible, but gradually creating a distance or gradually disappearing from the life of a toxic person is very effective and usable.
Above all, you have to remember that you yourself are the creator of your life and happiness and you don’t have to explain anything to anyone. You can slowly disappear from their lives until the toxicity stops affecting you. This is exactly the rule I follow, at least I try.
It is also important to realize that you may not choose the family you are born into and the people you have to work with, but you can choose your friends, the people you spend your free time with. I often thought that I needed a lot of people around me, that quantity is more important than the quality of people, which is not true. Today, I know that it is better to surround yourself with fewer people with the same attitude to life.
I would be able to write a lot more on this topic and for a very long time, but I don’t want to bore you to death.
If you have any experience with toxic people or any advice on how to get rid of them throw it in the comments.
Maybe we can gather material to continue …