How to make friends and do not stay completely alone
How to make friends? Where I should start searching for them? Is there any special place where I can find friends? All this question and more were in my head when I finally come back to myself.
After my week of constantly running from the bed to the toilet, I realized that I had to change something. Moving into new country is not enought. I have to stop being an island for myself and open up to new things, new chances, people, everything. Otherwise I will never fully actively move on. But where to start?
„Every change begins inside you,“ I don’t know who said that but it is the absolute truth.
I didn’t want to be alone. I was terrified of the idea that if something happened to me again, I wouldn’t have anyone to call again, any real friends. Maybe it was this fear that helped me start doing something.
I literally started looking for friends, hobbies and new activities that I had never done at home. Why? I do not know. Maybe I was too scared of what people would think of me, but nobody knew me here, so I didn’t care.
The first thing I had to do when I wanted to find new friends got out of my comfort zone and that’s why I wrote down a list of things what I had to do and change, which were:
- 1. Do not judge a book by its cover. Prejudices are the worst you can have.
- 2. Listen to others more, talk less. This point was not such a problem as English is not my native language. The communication in it at the beginning was … well … not the best.
- 3. Don’t be afraid to take the first step.
This was a real challenge for me. The worst thing was to start and not give up. The path to finding real friends is not easy, but I think it’s worth it. At first I felt embarrassed and insecure, but then it went by itself and naturally. Some places have become my favorites even though I’ve never met anyone there.
Places where you can make friends:
This may sound like complete nonsense to you, but I’ve always felt stupid to just sit in a coffee shop alone. I thought it looked desperate like you didn’t have anyone to sit with. Well, since I really didn’t have anyone, I decided to take the book at the beginning.
Gradually, I moved there. It was better than being in that little cold room. I finally managed to get someone to know me and know what I wanted before I asked for it. Cafes have become very popular among people not only for good coffee and gossips but also as a workplace. But I never meet any of my friends there.
Even when I was in college, I loved going there. Now I often go there to think, write or just flip through books. If you get used to going there, you should change that. After all, nothing happens if you sit in a library instead of sitting at home with a computer.
The library also offers many other activities such as book clubs or various events. In my opinion, if you meet someone in the library, it can be a pretty good guarantee that the person will not be completely intelligently low. Although, as they say, the exception confirms the rule …
I heard about this possibility in a language school. They said that a couple of volunteers hold English conversations regularly on certain days. They do it for free. You just have to come and order something at the bar and choose a group according to your level of English. I was interested in this possibility and I met a lot of interesting people there. It’s a great opportunity to improve your English, learn something new, meet a lot of new people from different parts of the world and it’s also a great program for the evening.
I have met many of my friends this way. It’s one of my favorite ways to meet someone.
Work is a place where you spend more than half of your life. So it’s natural that you meet a lot of people there and some of them change from colleagues to friends. In this case, I am always very careful, because I try to keep the distance between work and my life, but I do not always succeed.
I have been working in the same place for three years and during that time I met a lot of people who became an integral part of my life. Lots of them became my friends. That’s why I think you should choose a job that you will like to do and not just have to go to it. I met one of my best friends at work. If you work with someone all the time, you just can’t avoid it.
And last but not least, I definitely want to mention social networks. We live in the 21st century, so it is only natural that we make full use of them, either to obtain information or to get to know each other. If, like me, you have changed city or country and you are looking for someone with whom you would like to have coffee or who could possibly help you find a job, one of the easiest ways is to contact someone on Facebook. There you can find many groups according to your needs. That’s exactly how I met my friend Yvett.
I tried different ways to meet someone and get to know each other. It was one of the periods that taught me a lot, especially about myself. But this period was also very tiring because I was trying to find my place and fit somewhere. I’m not saying it’s bad to want to belong somewhere, but sometimes in this endeavor, we forget ourselves and let ourselves be swallowed up by a feeling of loneliness or fear of loneliness. I do not know. I probably felt that everything had to be perfect, that I had to live as best I could, even though it sometimes meant that I lived 110%.
But in the end, life will arrange everything as it wants and everything will be as it should be.
You can meet new people, make new friends by accident because that’s life. You never know what is ready for you, so it is important to have your eyes and mind open. Also a good tip. If you’re out in the company, smile. A smile can be your guarantee of success. If you walk around the world with your head bowed and no smile, you will hardly attract anyone.
Do you have any other tips on where you can find friends? Share your ideas down in comment.
And if you want to know how my story begins read If life is a movie I want to be the main character and enjoy it