Today is my day off. I am still comfortably relaxing with coffee in hand in bed in our apartment, which would need less or more cleaning. When I look outside, it looks very pleasant there, but I don’t want to leave our fortress today. I haven’t had one of my midnight talk in a long time and I think today is the right day. Ever since we started going back to work, I don’t have time for anything. The lives of people working in hospitality can be hard sometimes, especially during the season. But today I have a bit of time and a few things stuck in my head. Today I want to write a bit about toxic positivity because I encounter this more and more often.
I wrote an article about toxic people, and later I came across an article about toxic habits that we may not even know are toxic and ruin our lives. All this plus life made me think about the word toxicity. To be specific, I began to think about whether toxicity could arise from something positive. And so I came across the so-called toxic positivity.
My mother has always taught me that positivism is a cure and that negative thoughts will not help me. I agreed with that for a long time and followed it until I didn’t start thinking about it and now I don’t know or I don´t think if positivism is a cure …
In her column for Glamor magazine on eternal positivity on social media and in life, Helen Wilson-Beevers argues that we use slogans and talk about positive vibrations and happy thoughts more often than basic necessities. Slogans like “if you stay positive, overcome any obstacle”, “life is too short for this to get you down,” and also “you have to take it positive”, and “look at the bright side of the problem”you can see everywhere and everyone is proud of a whole range of other positive slogans.
“Be positive” is these days more popular than anything else.
I like motivational quotes, but everything has its limits and also such motivation does not always come in handy. Sometimes I just want to send everyone to the h…, find my corner and there to curl up and scream or cry or do anything else. Just be alone. And the last thing I want from people around me, my friends or family is to hear one of those motivational words. Do you have it that way too?
Cry out. Feel free to keep going. Yes, it’s really bad. Few people will tell you these phrases when you are having a hard time in life. In an effort to help or encourage ourselves or others we become overly positive, I would say toxic.
Toxic positivity manifests itself in people as the belief that if they ignore negative and difficult emotions and put everything pleasant in the foreground, they will be happier. But how is it really?
Personally, I am a person who prefers positive thinking. Even though bad things happen to me in my life, I prefer to say positive things, because I believe that what we wish for and dream about, we will bring to life. And that’s why if I stay positive, I’ll draw more positivism into my life.
But as I have already written, as well as positive and motivational quotes and phrases, there is no need to exaggerate even with positive thinking. Especially if you are trying to encourage someone else. Because you never know what the person is going through right now. No one sees another person’s soul. And I think here comes the problem.
Excessive positivity can become toxic very quickly.
It is actually a state when one builds an unobjective view of various things, generalizes one’s emotions, and acquires the feeling that happiness can be achieved anytime, however, and anywhere. And when this is not the case, a person falls into depression and is more and more desperate that he is not actually able to achieve his happiness.
I personally think that negative emotions are just as important as positive ones. It is, after all, a balance of life. Just as you are happy in life and have a good time, you have the right to have a bad day, to be sad, to cry, to have a bad period in your life. You should not be ashamed of it or hide it under the mask of a smiling face. Just like I’m used to doing.
For a long time, even though I wasn’t in a good mood, good time or anything, I tried to pretend I was fine. I didn’t want to let people see me other than happy. But at some point in my life, I don’t know exactly where something has changed. I started to show not only my happy emotions but also others. When I’m annoyed, I’m just annoyed, when I’m sad, I cry, When I’m angry, I’m angry and I scream or I walk around to calm down and not break something.
Somehow I accidentally opened the door to all my emotions. I can tell you that I was shocked at how many I had and how different those emotions are. Since then, I have tried to let my emotions run free, but at the same time not to be carried away by them like a complete fool.